Episode 38: Zara: Hassle-Free Maternity Returns & Exchanges — 5,000 Core English Words

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Chapter thirty-eight. Returning a dress.

Emma is six months pregnant, and her clothes no longer fit. Last week she ordered a maternity dress online, for a wedding. It arrived yesterday. It is the right color and the wrong size. So on Saturday, she and Ryan take it back to the store at the mall.

Listen to how to return or exchange something, how to ask for a different size, and how to give an honest opinion about clothes.

Emma: Ryan, be honest. How does this look?

Ryan: It looks nice. The color is great on you.

Emma: I can't breathe. It's too tight across the middle, and I still have three months to go.

Ryan: Then it's not nice. It's a medical problem.

Emma: I ordered a medium. I've been a medium all my life. Apparently, sizes vary between brands.

Ryan: Can you send it back?

Emma: Only as a last resort. I'd have to pay for the post. But the label says I can return it to any store. There's one at the mall.

Ryan: Then let's go this morning. I'll drive, and I'll hold the bags.

Emma: You hate shopping.

Ryan: I do. But I intend to be useful. That's my commitment for the next three months.

Cashier: Hi there. How can I help you?

Emma: Hi. I'd like to return this dress, please. I bought it online last week.

Cashier: Sure. Do you have the receipt, or the order number?

Emma: I have the email on my phone. Here's the order number.

Cashier: Thank you. Was there anything wrong with it?

Emma: No, nothing's wrong with it. It just doesn't fit. It's too small.

Cashier: No problem. Have you worn it?

Emma: Only to try it on. The tags are still attached.

Cashier: Perfect. Would you like to exchange it for a different size, or would you prefer a refund?

Emma: I'd like to exchange it, if you have a large. Otherwise a refund.

Cashier: Let me check our stock. We don't have a large in this exact color, I'm afraid. We have it in navy, and in a dark green.

Emma: Could I see the navy?

Cashier: Of course. I'll get one from the back. In the meantime, the maternity section is on your left, if you'd like to look at other options.

Emma: Excuse me. Where are the fitting rooms?

Staff: Straight ahead, past the shoes. How many items do you have?

Emma: Three. The navy dress, and two others.

Staff: Here's your number. Room four is free. Let me know if you need another size.

Emma: Thank you. Ryan, wait outside. I want your honest opinion on each one.

Ryan: I'll do my best. I'm nervous. My qualifications are limited.

Emma: Okay. Number one. The navy.

Ryan: Oh. That's much better. It doesn't pull anywhere.

Emma: Is it too long?

Ryan: No. It's just below the knee. It's sensible, and it still looks good.

Emma: The fabric is nice. It floats. Number two. Don't laugh.

Ryan: I won't. Oh. Hmm.

Emma: What does "hmm" mean?

Ryan: It's very yellow. A sharply bright yellow. You look like a cheerleader.

Emma: You don't like it.

Ryan: I didn't say that. In my defence, it's a weird color for a wedding. It's almost a poisonous yellow.

Emma: That's honest. I asked for honest. Number three.

Ryan: Black. It's fine. It's a bit serious. It looks like a dress for a burial.

Emma: It's a wedding, not a funeral. So, the navy?

Ryan: The navy. No doubt. You look fabulous in it. I'm not just saying that.

Emma: You're not trying to persuade me, so we can go home?

Ryan: I'd never dare. I genuinely like it.

Staff: How did everything fit?

Emma: The navy is perfect. I'll take that one, and I'll leave these two.

Staff: Great choice. That one tends to sell out.

Emma: I'll take the navy in a large, in exchange for the grey one.

Cashier: Lovely. The navy is five dollars less, so I'll put the difference back on your card. It can take three to five business days to appear.

Emma: That's fine. And I'd like to buy this scarf as well. Is it on sale?

Cashier: It is. Everything with a red sticker is thirty percent off today. It's a real bargain.

Emma: Then I'll take it. Can I use the credit from the return?

Cashier: You can. With the credit, you owe three dollars and forty cents. Would you like a bag?

Emma: Yes, please. And could I have a gift receipt for the scarf?

Cashier: Sure. If you change your mind, you have thirty days to return anything, as long as it hasn't been worn. Would you like to sign up for our emails? You get a discount sometime next month.

Emma: No, thank you.

Cashier: Then you're all set. Have a great day!

Ryan: That was astonishing. Twelve minutes. I thought it would be a battle.

Emma: Returns are easy now. Stores compete on it. If it were hard, nobody would order online.

Ryan: That's logical. It's an economic decision, not a favor.

Emma: Probably. But she was kind. I admire people who do that job all day with a nice tone.

Ryan: Can I make a remark about sizes?

Emma: Go ahead.

Ryan: It makes no sense that a medium in one brand differs from a medium in another. In my world, a number is a number. I analyse numbers for a living.

Emma: In fashion, a number is an emotion. They deliberately alter sizes so people feel good. It's widespread, and it's controversial.

Ryan: That's dishonest.

Emma: From your perspective. From the perspective of an executive, the outcome is that anxious people buy more. They'd justify it. They'd say the customer is happy.

Ryan: I'm not in favour. I oppose it. Furthermore, I'd like a law.

Emma: You'd make a good politician. Determined, and wrong about clothes.

Ryan: I regard that as an insult and a compliment.

Emma: It's both. Moreover, I didn't thank you. You were patient, and you didn't dismiss the yellow one right away. You evaluated it.

Ryan: I've learned. The crucial factor is to say what I see, and not what I think you want.

Emma: Thus, the cheerleader.

Ryan: Thus. Likewise, you tell me when my beard looks mysterious and when it looks like an infection.

Emma: It's a firm rule. No lies about hair. Mine is curly today, and I know it.

Ryan: I like it curly. Can I say something emotionally risky?

Emma: In this context? In a coffee shop?

Ryan: You've never looked better. I don't mean the dress. You're awake in a way I haven't seen. It's exciting to watch.

Emma: You're going to make me cry into a branded paper cup. Don't.

Ryan: I'll stop. One resolution, though. On the premise that we're a team: I'll come shopping, every time, without betting on how fast we can leave.

Emma: A compromise. I'll limit it to one store per trip, and no bargain hunting.

Ryan: I approve. I'm approving it right now. My participation is guaranteed.

Emma: I had the notion that marriage would be harder than this.

Ryan: It's early. We haven't had the baby yet.

Emma: That's not helpful. Drink your sample of whatever that is. We're resolved, and I'm not going to a consultation about it.

Ryan: A fragment of cake? To influence the outcome?

Emma: You know how to convince me. Efficiently.

That is the end of chapter thirty-eight. A grey dress went back, a navy one came home, and nobody argued about yellow for long.

Keep these with you: "I'd like to return this." "It doesn't fit." "Do you have it in a larger size?" "Where are the fitting rooms?" "Could I have a gift receipt?"

In the next chapter, the washing machine breaks down, two weeks before the baby is due, and there is a mountain of tiny clothes to wash.

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